NET VIRGIN (6:14)

By Cui Jian
Translate by: Kelly Cha

I am a virgin on the Internet
I’ve been to every kind of website
From 98 to now, time has flown by
Besides typing I haven’t learned a thing
I’ve used names like “Mosquito” and “Poor Guy”
Also “Ugly Dude” and “Faking Cool”
There were many other names I can’t remember
The dumber they are the hipper they sound

A Bug on the Net, that’s my name now

I met a girl named “Helen” a couple of days ago
She has an English name but knows no English
I can top her with my three English words
It fooled her into thinking I was an intellectual
She said she just split up with her boyfriend
She’s feeling like shit sitting alone in an Internet café
She asked me if I had a girlfriend
I said, “No no, isn’t that swell, I can chat with you.”

A Bug on the Net, I can chat with you

She didn’t seem to care much for me
She just wanted to talk to someone about her pain
At first I felt like a sidekick in a comic book
But the longer we talked the more I began to feel
She suddenly says she’s a masseuse
She’s seen every kind of man that’s out there
Jesus Christ! She’s too blunt and daring
Compared with her I seem even more like a bug

I felt embarrassed and didn’t know what to do
She said, “if you want to say bye then bye”
But before I could answer she said,
“You men, you’re bad plus you’re lazy”

Just like a Bug

I don’t get it, I really don’t get it
I’m not her customer and I’m not her boyfriend
She’s kind of weird, really a little bit weird
Who is she to blow her fuse at me

I asked her how her feelings got hurt
She said her man couldn’t face up to reality
She spilled the beans for love
But the guy couldn’t stand what she did for a living
I said of course, I said of course
I said the more a man he is the more he couldn’t stand that
She said men are so lame, love is so lame
She said the net is too lame, and she left after that

She left after that

My face is burning and my fingers are stiff
How come I feel as if I’ve done some shit already
I didn’t find her for three days and nights
I suddenly feel that getting online is pointless

A Bug on the Net

I’m starting to freak out, starting to lose my mind
I’m starting to feel that bullshitting is no longer fun
I changed my name to “Bullet-head”
I changed my name to “Blood-needle”
I post and send messages everywhere
“Helen Helen where are you, I’m ‘A Bug on the Net’”
I post and send messages everywhere
“Helen Helen come back, Rock me on the Net”

Rock Me on the Net